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It’s been awhile…
It’s been a while since I’ve sat down at the computer and written. To be honest, it’s been a while since I’ve put much philosophical thought into anything. I’ve kind of been drifting. Vacillating between knowing what the right thing is to do and making selfish, bad decisions. I’m not sure why, even. Not much…
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Are you afraid of the darkness? Are you afraid of the darkness? I’m afraid of the darkness, too.
According to the Oxford Dictionary, Fear is the unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain or harm. So, clearly fear is useful in moderation. Keeps us from knowingly facing such threats. Fear of snakes? To keep from the venom. Fear of crowds? The unknown of unknown people. Fear of intimacy? Fear of financial…
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Good times gone, and you missed them; What’s gone wrong in your system?
Now that my house has burned down I have a better view of the sky. -Zen Saying When I left rehab I was immediately struck by my inability to be grateful for what I had. I’d give lip-service for it, sure, but I always felt like I needed more- or at least something else other…
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So far from okay, tongue-tied and afraid…The big things stay the same until we make…little changes
A monk was walking along the side of the road when another monk came trotting down the lane, bouncing and precariously holding on to the mane of his horse. “Where are you going?” asked the walking monk. The monk on the horse looked at the questioner with a look of amazement and fear, “Wherever the…
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Call me; Call me anytime; Call me
Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. Nirvana. Peace. Calm. Tranquility. Ram Dass (I think) is credited with saying “we are spiritual beings having a human experience.” There is a Buddhist belief…
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They call me The Seeker;I’ve been searching low and high;I won’t get to get what I’m after;Till the day I die
Step 11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. My immediate thought about this step, when I got to it, was dominated by the phrases “…conscious contact with God…” and…
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Put on your brave face; I need your brave face
Step 10: Continue to take personal inventory and when you’re wrong admit it This is the most important step to me. It is also probably the most dynamic in the changes of how I view and have used it. It required commitment. A commitment to honesty, commitment to gentleness to myself and a commitment to…
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Trying to break the cycle, and to make some new friends; I guess it would be easier than making amends…
Step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. So, now I have the list of people I need to face. I have the ways I fucked it all up- at least I think I do. Now I have to go and find them…
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Making a list and checking it twice…
Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. I remember looking at this step and thinking, “Man, that looks hard.” Then you read the Blue Book and you get the feeling it’s all good afterwords. More often than not there is absolution. Hugs…
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I am I said…to no one there
Step 7: Humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings. Ugh. The dreaded “Him.” Hard to avoid “Him” from here on out, I guess. At the time I confronted this step I was so vehemently atheist I was anti-theist. I couldn’t see the value in a belief in the supernatural. While I still don’t believe, I…