Pema Chodron has a book called, “Dealing with Uncertainty.” I have it. Not sure I’ve read it. Or- if I have- if I’ve absorbed it.
Today I heard someone say that they’d rather have a resolution- any resolution at all- than continue to wait. To be uncertain. I heard that and found myself internally nodding my head. I then sat with that and realized that I would prod for a solution and self-sabotage, as well.
“What’s wrong?” ”Nothing.” “You’re acting like something is wrong…tell me.” “It’s nothing.” “C’mon”….fight ensues.
See what I mean?
As I sit here and muse on uncertainty I’m struck by the realization that it’s all uncertainty. Anything that happens has a tinge of perception to it. And that perception can lead to a misinterpretation. That misinterpretation…you see the cascade. The future is unknowable and that uncertainty can cause angst or fear, as well.
I can clearly think of times that I wanted a resolution- not matter what the outcome- because I didn’t want to deal with the discomfort of the moment. I’ve come to realize that discomfort is my own fault. I choose to see it that way. Now waiting is more comfortable because I feel as though I have done the right thing- or at least my best attempt at it- and the outcome will be the outcome.
“Good things come to those that wait.” This suggests that enduring the wait worth whatever the reward is. That’s not always the case, of course. But there is peace and value in waiting- letting go of a result you have no control over means letting go of the ‘external-ness’ that is uncertainty and embracing the tranquil internal core.
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