I recently heard something about listening that I’d never thought about. I have, of course, been through the ‘active listening’ teachings that are pervasive- repeat what was said to you to iterate that you ‘heard’ what was said. “I heard you say that you’re angry that I didn’t do the dishes like you asked…”
The problem with this tool is easy to see: if the other person is aware of the tool they know that you are ‘hearing’ what you are saying and that you are placating them. It’s the difference between professional and recreational tennis. Just another way to return serve.
The new way of looking at it is to listen willing to change your mind about what you hear. Not that you will change your mind but that you are willing to change it. To listen with a whole heart and trying to really incorporate what you’re hearing.
It’s amazing how much that changes the perspective and perception. Even with someone explaining their dreams. Listening without judgments or preconceptions. I can learn something from everyone and everything.
Life is a team sport.
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