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How do I feel? Tell me now, how do I feel?
“You should feel bad…” “I bet that hurt…” “I think you’ll love this…” Emotions are a poorly understood part of human (animal?) physiology. Things like fear and comfort/contentment/love make sense- they are protective of their holder. But when there is no flight or fight or need for shelter there use is more obscure. So much…
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Surrendering that heart, all of my heart
–When you do something, you should burn yourself completely, like a good bonfire, leaving no trace of yourself. Shunryu Suzuki ‘I can’t wait until this is over,’ ‘When we get there we’ll have so much fun,’ ‘I’m looking forward to…’ Human beings have a tendency to live either in the past or the future and…
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You may be wrong for all I know, but you may be right…
Raise your hand if you hear the word ‘criticism’ and think negative thoughts. Or, same with the word ‘consequences.’ Criticism can have negative connotations, but criticism usually means weighing the merits and faults of a particular system or event. Consequence literally means ‘that what comes after.’ Not good or bad. Just the ‘follow-on’ from a…
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I’m going to the place where love And feeling good don’t ever cost a thing And the pain you feel’s a different kind of pain
Home. Hometown. “I’m heading home.” The movies, books and songs from my youth all made it seem as though home was everything. The ideal. The end-all-be-all. If you didn’t feel comfortable and safe with your family then…well, where could you feel safe and comfortable. I have very distinct memories of not being able to get…
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The Waiting…is the hardest part
Pema Chodron has a book called, “Dealing with Uncertainty.” I have it. Not sure I’ve read it. Or- if I have- if I’ve absorbed it. Today I heard someone say that they’d rather have a resolution- any resolution at all- than continue to wait. To be uncertain. I heard that and found myself internally nodding my head. I then sat with…
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À boire, À boire, ÀBoire, À Boire j’ai la gorge en feu
Oh no! French lyrics. I just don’t understand them. They’re scary and not understanding them makes my brain itch and hurt. ‘Tis part of a wonderful song by Les Cowboys Fringants. A fun Canadian Folk Rock band that sings solely in French. I don’t speak French and down’s understand the lyrics at all. I just bob my head and roll along.…
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Summer breeze, makes me feel fine…blowin’ through the jasmine in my mind…
We have three lives we lead- the one we perceive in the here and now (and the only real one), the one we live in the future (placing ourselves in each situation and ‘playing it out’) and the one in the past- our memories. What I love about revisiting the past is I get to…
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I’m alright, Don’t nobody worry ’bout me…
A twofer today. Caddyshack reference to talk about the golf and the lyrics fit the topic (sorta). I have a history of being competitive (shock, I know). If I don’t win, then I lose. Black or white. Up or down. Over the years I’ve learned to back off that attitude with soccer. I still want to win, but I no longer…
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I would have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life…
On my “journey” I’ve been surprised at some of the revelations. The fact that I’m of more value the less I share verbally (hee hee); that I was simply a ball of stress reacting to a world I didn’t understand and didn’t even try to understand; that I had a negative vocabulary surrounding my ‘self’ that…
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Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down…
I mentioned in passing that I thought I was an optimist because I didn’t look at the possible bad outcomes. I’ve realized since (of course) that I was ignoring the now for an unknown future. Ignorance does not equal optimism. Ignorance is the water holding me down. “Hoping” that things work out irrespective of what one does is…