Perseveration X

Step 10: Continue to take personal inventory and when you’re wrong admit it This is the most important step to me. It is also probably the most dynamic in the changes of how I view and have used it. It required commitment. A commitment to honesty, commitment to gentleness to myself and a commitment to… Read more

Step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. So, now I have the list of people I need to face. I have the ways I fucked it all up- at least I think I do. Now I have to go and find them… Read more

Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. I remember looking at this step and thinking, “Man, that looks hard.” Then you read the Blue Book and you get the feeling it’s all good afterwords. More often than not there is absolution. Hugs… Read more

Step 7: Humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings. Ugh. The dreaded “Him.” Hard to avoid “Him” from here on out, I guess. At the time I confronted this step I was so vehemently atheist I was anti-theist. I couldn’t see the value in a belief in the supernatural. While I still don’t believe, I… Read more

Step 6: We became willing to ask God to help us remove our defects of character. This step is an interesting one in its timing. I just spent all that time confessing to all of the wrongs I’d committed in my relationships. Where alcohol was an influence but generally where my fears and how I… Read more

Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Okay. I’ve just spent the past several hours staring at a blank wall and meticulously documenting all of my relationships- I feel as though I can see the beginnings of a theme here (me!) and I’m feeling… Read more