Perseveration X

As part of my journey/trek, I started working out. In the gym 2-3 times weekly and playing soccer (indoor and out) 2-3 times weekly. I walk the dogs pretty much every day. I started it as a way to lose weight but now am doing it to feel better about myself. I jokingly asked the… Read more

There is a tradition in AA of anonymity. It is, in fact, right there in the name. Early on in my recovery I thought that was so I could have my little issue all on my own and nobody else would ever need to know. I mean, other than those people ‘in the rooms’…and my… Read more

There is a Buddhist ‘ideal’ that I find intriguing “Unlearn something everyday.” Our lives are a series of conditioned calls and responses. Something I’ve heard called the “cognitive response cycle”: basically, experience-learn-have emotional response-‘feel’ about it-have behavioral response-witness consequences-experience…etc, etc. The idea of ‘unlearning’ something is intriguing to me because I want to have a… Read more

Over the past 18+ months I’ve come to several stark, painful and needed conclusions. I’ve written (ad nauseam, I know) about my change in viewing the universe and the events that occur…not to me but that affect my ego and my comfort. One of the more difficult transitions has been my relationship with my wife.… Read more

I often think about conversation. Not just ones that I have had and anticipate having, but I watch others having conversations . I watch their mannerisms and see if the people involved have a ‘stereotype.’ I can’t hear what they are saying most of the time, but the way the dynamic unfolds is interesting to… Read more

A quick hitter this evening. Has been a long day and I have very little on my mind. Had one incident that I need to work better on dealing with. We went out to dinner on Saturday night. There was an option for a 4 course meal that looked very good. Neither my wife or… Read more